LIVING THE MOMENT XX

26th, April 2015

Had a such special and memorable birthday!

Was using my birthday as my excuse to skip my class and having a fancy dinner...haha

Went to Sally's place for lunch, she made noodles for me which is so sweet and the present that she gave me....to touched to have her in my life here in UK xx

 Birthday Girl I guess

Yummy Birthday
Noodles



And my Fav Girl

 
Then I met 学长, he gave me this small birthday gift as well, I felt so touched and loved since he ordered this one online which means that he knew my birthday...xx
The weather was so nice that day
Then I skipped my class for this picnic, didn't feel like going for my class when the weather was so nice for sitting on the grass and enjoy the sunshine!!!

Then went to this fancy japanese restaurant at night, the food was good, but a little bit pricy, but its reasonable since the chef was cooking right in front of you, so its kinda like watching a show which is so cool!!!!xx

 

 

and yeah, he forgot my birthday or he even didn't know its my birthday, but never mind.....

Didn't do too much on Friday, met up with Anna and Alfred for mooncake, then went to study, but actually, didn't study at all, and went back for a movie with Phil then we went to Noodle House for dinner....well, i do really enjoy the time when I'm with him, we have a lot to talk to, and we know each other so well, i don't need to hide anything in front of him, i can totally be my real self which I really enjoy....

Then, well....hmmmmm had a special night...我想会成为我的另一个秘密吧....

Sometimes, i don't even know what I was thinking, I can't understand myself even. I know I should just live the moment, try to enjoy myself and life here, but sometimes, I just can't stop myself from thinking too much...The thing that I like Phil is that he is being totally honest to me, and he always eager to know everything about me... I enjoyed talking with him a lot..but i don't know if i like him the way that i like J...I do have a low EQ.... 

Then...hmm didn't do anything on Saturday, totally chill...

Then today, He just came over just now and to give me this cake...im happy to see him and we chatted for a bit, i don't feel like myself still liking him that much probably because i know that he is not the best one for me, but i do admit that i still like him. But well, at least at this point, don't think its the best time to let him know...lets just see what happens.....

Going to Carrie's place for dinner :) 

Need to finish my assignment as well haha being so lazy lol

LIVING THE MOMENT AND ENJOY THE LIFE 

Pre-Birthday Surprise!!!❤️

22th, April 2015

Such good weather these days, makes me feel so happy when I go out.

Had dinner with Alfren, Anna and Akilah, thought it was just a small gathering dinner since Anna came back to Leeds from Vietnam...

And after the dinner, they suddenly brought the birthday cake to me and played the birthday song....i cried right away....so touched......THATS JUST SO SWEET

They secretly planned all this to try to surprise me and they did!!! Its totally a surprise!!! I wasn't expecting anything for my birthday, its just a regular day for me! I don't really celebrate my birthday since i used to have exams on my birthday back in Canada, and we usually just went out for dinner with Peipei and she always surprises me....This year, even not my birthday yet, but already feel so touched...such a special memory....xx

I can't picture the day when I have to leave UK, not because this country, but the people that I have met here, totally means a lot to me....it has been such a special and wonderful year in my life!

I feel so loved and lucky to have all my friends in my life, they just mean a lot to me!!! I love them more than anything!!!xxx

 

 

 

 

MY LIFE IS TOTALLY MESSED UP

21th, April 2015

最近几天发生了很多事情，突然觉得自己撑不住了。。。

周五晚上他过来我这里，我煮了粥给他吃因为他生病了，之后我们一起看了电影，再之后他一直问我他是不是要走了，我没有说话，我不知道怎么回答，我知道他不会对我做什么，即使他就躺在我身边，我也觉得很安全，我知道理智来说，我不应该要他留下，可是感性来讲，我很想和他待在一起，可能只是静静的躺在一起，什么都不说，后来他走了，让我睡觉，走之前我们拥抱，那个拥抱感觉好漫长。我让他到家之后发信息给我，他说想让我睡觉，我坚持要让他发信息给我。他到家发信息给我，我问他这样是不是太多了，他说他没有期待任何事情，只是有点累了，我相信他不会对我做任何事情，我问他是不是只是把我当朋友，他说一个很好，很特别的朋友，他说很喜欢我，可是我觉得只是当朋友的那种喜欢吧，我没有多问，第二天早上他发信息给我，也只是闲聊了一会。。。

然后在学校见了P, 他知道我和他的所有事情，本来计划学习，结果因为阳光很好，我们在学校里面的草地上坐了一下午，很享受美好的天气。之后晚上我们一起吃了饭，因为周五晚上没有怎么睡觉，打算周六的时候早点休息，第二天约好了一起早起学习，可是不知道为什么，晚上睡不着，就打电话给p，没想到一聊就聊了很久，聊了很多很多。。。

第二天，周日，p很早起来，来找我，把我从床上叫起来，我们一起吃了简单的早饭，然后去图书馆，悲剧的是因为是周日，所以图书馆到10点才开门。。。下午我们去了他家的party，然后回到图书馆学习，偶然我发现了他留在我手机note里面的东西, 意思就是他喜欢我，我假装没有看到，希望我们可以永远都这样做朋友，晚上去他家吃饭，他把手机里面留的note删掉，我以为我们可以一直这样做朋友，可是后来他又重新写上去，让我看，我不知道要怎样做，不想失去这样一个朋友，而且他有女朋友，他知道我很喜欢另一个男生，突然，他试图想要吻我，我躲开了，所有的事情都变的好奇怪。

之后我们回到学校，在外面坐了一下，聊了很多，然后我回家了

回家的路上，我觉得心里好乱，我可以喜欢一个人，可是如果再有另一个人喜欢我，我觉得too much that i cant handle，突然很想见他，告诉他我喜欢他，然后他拒绝我，至少这样我会觉得轻松一点。

回到房间发信息给他，他说他在看电影，之后还有一些工作要做，可能没有时间见面，我说算了没有关系，改天再说吧，他说要打给我，我们聊了一会，他说如果我不喜欢那个男生，就保持一定距离，一段时间后看还能不能做回朋友，我说我喜欢另一个人，他没有问是谁，我觉得他应该足够聪明猜到是谁，可是他不问，应该是不想让我说明白吧。

可是我喜欢所有的事情都清楚一点，不喜欢这样暧昧不明的关系，自己总是胡思乱想很多。后来我给朋友打了电话，聊了很多，我决定要告诉他我喜欢他，我想当面告诉他，其实并不是怕被拒绝或是怎样，可能我倒希望他说只是把我当朋友，这样我会轻松很多。

其实理智的想，他没有那么好，不知道他把我当什么，或许只是普通朋友，对我连最基本的信任都没有。我不知道，或许我对他来说什么都不是，我所有的朋友都说不要让我再理他，说他很奇怪，我甚至都不知道自己为什么喜欢他，是不是喜欢一个人真的不需要理由，有的时候我甚至都不清楚自己是不是喜欢他。

因为p 的事情，我好想告诉他我的感觉，只是想结束这种不明不白的状态，我只是想要一个明确的答案，无论是什么，我们都可以还做朋友

好啦！用中文写很奇怪，很多东西不知道有没有表达清楚，但是我觉得中文可能会更少人看懂吧！

先上课啦！加油！要每天都开开心心的！

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING

18th, April 2015

Seems like there is a lot to update for these couple days....

The day before yesterday, I went for a movie with one guy, but It was horrible...sigh...he just like a little kid to me...

And was studying almost the entire day at the lib with Phil, well, not the entire day since we had a two hour lunch break, but its still much better than nothing....

Actually yesterday, me and Jason were planning to meet up in the afternoon, then he texted me and was like he got a cold, not feeling so well, i was like we can meet another day if you want, then he asked me if there is anything that we could do at my place, then I asked him to come over and i would make some congee for him....

Then Phil and I went to the bubble tea shop, after that, we went to the Chinese grocery store to get the preserved egg since I need those to make congee...but the store closed when we got there...:( so we tried the Thai one but they didn't have it, but luckily, on our way back, I saw the manager of the chinese grocery store was talking on the phone right at the door, so I was kinda begging him to sell the preserved egg to me.....

Then we went to the Morrison to get some other stuff and Phil was too nice to walk me back.

Then he came to my place, I made congee for him, and we were watching a movie after congee...

Ehhhh I suddenly don't feel like writing it....ill leave it for tmr then i guess :)

Quite tired now....going to sleep now I guess

SLOWLY GETTING BACK TO NORMAL

15th, April, 2015

The day before yesterday, went to lib in the afternoon then went to global cafe since need to meet up with Phil to sort something out, but had a good time there talking with this two guys from Malaysia, quite funny that they thought i was from Singapore due to my weird accent.....

Then went to Sally's place, she cooked noodles for me which is quite good, then we were just talking and so randomly, she was like lets go for karaoke, then i called mix, since its Monday, not the busy time, they offered us 16pounds for 2 hrs which is quite cheap already compare to usual....and we called the cab right away...its so crazy and random but was really fun...we were both like...what we are actually doing...do random!!

Then when we got there, i was talking to the previous owner for a little while, since he knows me, he asked this guy working there to join us, then............i was so childish and naive....since that guy was trying to ask me to drink......i didn't get drunk but i wasn't planning to drink at all...anyways.....

Yesterday got my big aunt, was feeling so weak the entire day....met up Phil in the afternoon for dim sum and we ordered regular dishes afterwards as well and also dessert...had such a big meal!!! So satisfied...Then we played the pool and table tennis for a little while, we both are so bad at it tho...lol

Then today......went to lib and was planning to study with Phil...then ended up with having so many breaks....he was keep distracting me!!! Anyways....get some of my work done which is not that bad....good enough for START

Then we went to this social, talking to random ppl, i was little bit tired to talk to ppl tho, but was nice to get to know some new friends...and yeah i do need more socials to keep myself busy.....

Nothing too much to update, and i just figured out that I totally misunderstood something....which makes me even feel a little bit better.............

haha anyways....im just gonna try to enjoy my life, try to enjoy my rest of time here in UK and trying to be myself....

BE HAPPY  :)

KEEP MOVING ON I GUESS

13th, April, 2014

Yesterday......replied him in the morning, but didn't get replied right away until he finish his violin class...hehe he doesn't really care about me....

不知道要怎样说，昨天给笑打了电话，晚上又和sugar聊了一下，所有人都劝我不要再跟他联系，说他很奇怪。。理智的想，确实觉得很多事情他都在有刻意地回避，没有正面回答过我。。我觉得就算普通朋友之间，相处最重要的就是坦诚。。这样下去，受伤更多的只能是自己，所以，就stop在这里吧。。。

心情还是没有那么好，昨天跟sugar和hezy去逛街，可是做什么事情都感觉心不在焉的，不知道在想什么也，她们也很明显的感觉到我心情不好，呵呵，好想每天都开开心心的，没心没肺，这就是为什么我总是说，真的很害怕自己动了感情，因为真的很难走出来。

晚上去hezy家吃饭，sugar做的饭很好吃，之后hezy学画画，sugar教我修眉毛，还做了头发给我

 hezy did make up for
me....two different
make up for two eyes

 sugar said this is so
gong lui...hehe

 best makeup artist
ever!!!





chocolate and vanilla
cheesecake..
little bit better than
the ones that i made

Well, i think everything gonna be fine, just takes time... try to be myself, be happy and enjoy my rest of time here in UK..someone is not worthy it for me to care that much, to pain me that much....but no matter what is happening in my life, i should try to enjoy it, try to enjoy the moment, and learn from every single experience!! BE HAPPY!!!! :) 

SMILE :) TO MY SELF!!

HUG :) TO MYSELF!!

ADD OIL!!!

要开心一点

12th, April, 2015

昨天过的晕晕的，都不知道自己在想什么，没有回他的text，我觉得自己很幼稚，可是自己也需要一点时间来调整自己的情绪。。。

学习也学不下去，下午叫了朋友一起去吃点心，然后去看到fast7, 可是做什么事情都没有办法专心，不知道在想什么。。。

看电影的时候他发信息给我，问我是不是生他的气或是什么，为什么不回他信息，我不知道自己在想什么，可能就是不知道要怎样回复他吧。。。

今天早上起来回复了他，想了很久，信息编辑了很多次，犹豫了很久才发出去，我骗他昨天去看朋友没有带手机。。。我觉得自己很evil也很幼稚，可是。。。或许在感情方面，我只是个孩子而已。。。

Hope i could try to enjoy my life, trying to keep myself busy....trying to stop thinking too much! There's a lot in my life not only him......anyways, add oil!~~~

BE HAPPY!! :)

FADING....?

10th April, 2015

Well...seems like things are not going so well.....

yesterday....did morning exercise, then met up with ppl that I'm going with for alton tower to discuss about the damage fee thing...dont even wanna think about this anymore....so not gonna talk about that here....

Then met up with Kevin just chit chat for a while, went to his place to gave a cup of beer..he is a really nice guy tho, then went back to the bubble tea shop, was talking to Hezy for a while...

Then Alfred came over for dinner, we made some pasta and...as usual, talking about random things...then was skying honey before going to sleep....

I told Honey about him...and she was like you need to make sure he is just flirting with you or interested in you..im sick of being flirted and after this morning...i was like....sigh don't know how to say.....is my feelings towards to him fading away???Dunno....

He texted me last night at 12 and was like he couldnt fall asleep since missing me too much, and i asked him are you serious, he was like...kinda....hehe, i seriously don't know what he is thinking but I'm kinda sick of being like his....either be clear or just stop....

I didn't sleep so well last night, woke up at 5 and just couldnt fall asleep, then i texted him at around 7:30, i bet he was still in bed that time, and we met up at 8:45 for running....of course he runs too much faster than me so we kinda separated and met up after we done....then went for breakfast...AND HE CAME OVER TO MY PLACE FOR SHOWER!!

I was like...ehhhhh...i should have done my clean up....but i was like its a little bit weird that to have someone shower at my place....The thing that made me feel quite uncomfortable is that....he got into the bathroom, then after couple mins, he asked to pass his wallet and phone to him.....HEHE.....what does he think of me!!!! sigh......im not trying to say anything, but seriously, this kinda made me lost all my interests in him........dont know how to say......

Then i asked him if like the bubble tea shop and gave him the voucher of Hezy's bubble tea shop, he was like wth she opened the bubble tea shop and was how...then i was like she is not student anymore and kinda at your age...then he was like...is she single.....HEHE...speechless...

Well, just gonna let it go with flow....see what happens, i need to get to know him better...

And the other thing that I don't really like him is that seems like he doesn't take anything so serious, he likes to change the plan which i found quite annoying...anyways......

I am just gonna stop thinking too much...and trying to focus on my study and life.....

BE HAPPY!!! :)

HE DIDNT MAKE IT LOL

8th, April, 2015

We were planning to get up this morning and do exercise together at 6:45am....haha but this morning, i was trying so hard to get up, and when i texted him, he was like he is so tired and wanted to sleep...well, i was kinda surprised that I wasnt angry about that...instead, i would rather to let him sleep more and don't want him to be that tired...whats wrong with me??!!!Totally fall in loved?!! CRAZY!!

Didn't do too much in the morning since didn't sleep that well last night, then went to play badminton with Alfred and Vincent in the afternoon, so tired after 2 hrs badminton tho....

And he texted me and i asked him to treat me ice-cream when we back to Canada as the punishment that he didn't make it this morning, hehe, he was like he will treat me to unlimited ice-cream for a year in Toronto....Hmmm i guess I'm gonna go to Toronto more often for my free ice-cream!! LOL

Then back home, felt so tired after badminton, didn't do too much things, still don't feel like studying...going to sleep soon and hopefully get up early tmr morning to do exercise and study at the lib!!

Night everyone, and night GZ! :)

NICE WEATHER!!!

7th, April, 2015

Weather these days is getting better! And day time getting longer as well! So nice to just walk around in the park or just in the city!!

Got up early in the morning and did my morning exercise, went out this morning made me feel like back to those olds days in Canada, don't know why lol

Then went to the Market to get groceries for Sally and myself, everything is so cheap at the Market, even cheaper than in China!!! Cant believe it, need to do more shopping at the market in the future to try to save some money!!

Then went to sally's place to cook for her, then back home, had a nap, and didn't feel like studying! Seriously, haven't done anything for this past two weeks, how come I'm being so lazy!!! Need to find my study mood back!!!!

And he came to text me first for 3 times in one day!! Never happened before, totally made me day! :)

haha going to do exercise with him tmr morning at 6:45am!! such a date!!! but seeing him always makes me happy lol

Haha, if he accidentally find my BLOG, that would be so embarrassing.... just saying..dont really know how to keep this private, and I'm not expecting anyone read this hehe

BE HAPPY! BE A GOOD GIRL!!! AND BE MYSELF! :)

Third Date xx

April 6th, 2015

Weather is really nice today!! Finally feel like spring is coming!! 

Went to May's cafe with Alfred and Akilah for lunch, had a really good time with them together!!

Then had our third date!! Brought him to May's cafe, it was funny, when i came into the restaurant, i was like "hello, again".

Then we just walked around at the hyde park, chit chat...i thought its great!! He was kinda funny, and we were just joke around about random things...:)

But, when he came to pick me up, i was like...ehhh, don't know how to say, i don't wanna feel that we are so different, like I'm still a student and he works already, although its true, we are really different in such aspect, but somehow, i just wanna feel connected with him, anyways....see what happens ba.....

The he drove me back home....i made another cheesecake for him as well, sigh, i used to make better ones, but the one that i made last night is not sweet enough :((( but anyways, will try to make again next time 

well, the heart shape doesn't mean anything 

Well, had a really good day today, seeing him always make me feel so happy...haha...i guess I'm just gonna go wherever my heart takes me and try to be happy!!Enjoy my life :) 

selfie of the day! 

Alton Towers!!!

April 5th, 2015

Alton Towers was lots of fun, 很喜欢去游乐场，awesome place for couples to go as well!!! Hope I could go there again someday with the one that I like lol

Being prefect honest, I was not that happy this morning, well, at the first place, I was kinda worrying about him, for not getting replied from him, I was about to ask him to see what happened, I got a really bad feeling what something bad happened, hehe, probably just because I care over much!
Then he texted me this afternoon saying that he is hanging out in Manchester, and will meet me up tmr.... 那个时候自己有一点生气，i was like i don't wanna see him anymore...

但是后来想一下，其实他没有做错任何事情，只是自己太在乎了，trying not to be so childish, but sometimes, i just can't help, can't control my emotion, i don't like myself being like this, but well, takes time for me to grow up anyways...:) just will let it go with flow....see what happens

今天小天才来了，晚上一起吃了饭，可惜今天大家都出去玩了，没有能好好聚一下，想想真的过的好快啊，一起跨年好想还是昨天的事情，一转眼就已经快四个月过去了。。。enjoy the moment! Be Happy, Thats what all I can do

今天的天气很好，终于觉得不再那么冷了，晚上吃完饭走回家的时候，不热不冷的天气突然让我有了一种回到小伦敦的感觉，不知道为什么，有的时候，身边很细微的小事都会把自己带回到很熟悉的过去。。。今天🌰的天气好像去年考完试，培培离开，只是自己在伦敦的日子，又或者是很久之前，还在读语言的时候，下午放学，一个人走回家的感觉，不热不冷的天气，回家一起和培培做饭，之后去逛超市的感觉....

我承认自己是一个很念旧的人，也是一个很感性的人, 常常不知道自己在想什么，可是，希望自己一直在成长，每天都可以很快乐吧！add oil!~