First two exams done!!! YAY!! Three more to go

22th, May 2015

Have been pretty busy these days with my exams!! Finally done first two, the most hardest ones, rest three should be much easier compare to these two :)

Went to the Leeds Color Run last weekend, it was quite fun, was struggling with if i should go or not since i was doing revisions for my exams and was not ready for my exams... but i paid it already and its quite expensive, so i decided to go....haha well, will regret it i didn't go i guess haha, but we have to wait for the bus to come back to city centre for like 1+ hr since there was lots of people

 

 

 

 
i don't think i did well for my first exam, was thinking too many random things during my two hours exam...such like....what if i fail my exams, i have to redo it if i fail, and my honey just got married and having fun in China right now whereas i have to finish my exams...etc etc etc i felt quite funny after i finish my exams and looking back what i was thinking during that two hours time lol

Well, was kind of down after my first exam, but i am happy to get them done

Thinking of leaving makes me feel sad as well, was about to buy the air ticket yesterday but didn't do it.... don't know why, i don't wanna leave since i have met so many awesome people here in UK, and apart from that, i feel a little scared thinking of going back to Canada, i don't know why, i feel like everything has been changed and its gonna take me a while to get back used to it...well i guess this is where i start to learn....

And i feel quite happy these days since i feel like I'm letting lots of things go.... which i thought it would be really hard to do it, but i kinda made it :) The key to keep happy is to be yourself i guess..... The key to make others happy is to keep yourself happy first i guess :) ADD OIL

Wont have my next exam until June 1st, so can relax a little bit now... which is really good

don't have too much plans after my exams, will go to the NSC then travel around in UK a little, then going back home..... Time goes by so fast, those days i always think of the first couple days when i got there in UK, and all the things that i have been through.... i learned a lot, experienced a lot... its such a special year to me :)

Enjoy my life here, and keep exploring :)

TRYING SO HARD

15th, May 2015

There has been a lot happened in my life recently... good things and bad things, well, i guess all i can do is try to learn from my experiences and try to get better myself...

Finished all my assignments and currently doing revisions for my exams, was kinda sad when finished my last lecture in Leeds uni, can't believe that I have to leave soon.... thinking of leaving just makes me feel so sad, I am gonna miss everything here in UK so much, the ppl that i have met here, the things that i have been through, it just means a lot to me, but yeah, like what Jason said, with the end of one adventure there comes the beginning of a new one.... its true....i have to move on ....

i went for out door climbing for my climbing class last weekend, which is really awesome. I didn't wanna go since the weather was not that good on the day, and i was just being so lazy...but i was so happy that i made it and really enjoyed it.... more importantly, i have learned a lot from my outdoor climbing session... there were many many moments when i was in the middle of my climbing, i thought of giving up since it seems impossible for me to reach to the top...but i was so proud of myself that i have never ever given it up and finally i made it to the top... looking back, i don't even know how did i do it... lesson learned from my climbing class: Never give it up without even have a try....nothing is impossible... i love that feeling when you did something after trying your best...

I used to say a lot " i can't" in my life, but from now no, i won't say that anymore without even have a try... if you don't even believe in yourself, how could it possible to make it :) 

Well, a lot has been happened in my life.... and I feel like i messed up lots of things.... This is so hard and even hurt for me i have to admit. However, there is much i can do about it, i guess it just takes time for me to get over of it...

Most of the time, i don't really know what i want, what I'm thinking, i am trying to follow my heart doing whatever i want to do, try to stop thinking too much sometimes, but... sometimes its just so hard.....

I don't even know what I'm supposed to do, what i should do next, theres lots of things that i couldnt control, my emotion, my feelings, my logical thinking etc... 

Well, I'm still trying to hard to forget something, to just let it go, to enjoy my life and be HAPPY although its really hard....probably i need to try even harder....

ADD OIL..... to myself and to someone 

BE HAPPY, thats the only thing that i hope i could do for myself, and thats the only thing that i hope you can do for yourself as well.....SMILE or SMELL :) 

LIVING THE MOMENT XX

26th, April 2015

Had a such special and memorable birthday!

Was using my birthday as my excuse to skip my class and having a fancy dinner...haha

Went to Sally's place for lunch, she made noodles for me which is so sweet and the present that she gave me....to touched to have her in my life here in UK xx

 Birthday Girl I guess

Yummy Birthday
Noodles



And my Fav Girl

 
Then I met 学长, he gave me this small birthday gift as well, I felt so touched and loved since he ordered this one online which means that he knew my birthday...xx
The weather was so nice that day
Then I skipped my class for this picnic, didn't feel like going for my class when the weather was so nice for sitting on the grass and enjoy the sunshine!!!

Then went to this fancy japanese restaurant at night, the food was good, but a little bit pricy, but its reasonable since the chef was cooking right in front of you, so its kinda like watching a show which is so cool!!!!xx

 

 

and yeah, he forgot my birthday or he even didn't know its my birthday, but never mind.....

Didn't do too much on Friday, met up with Anna and Alfred for mooncake, then went to study, but actually, didn't study at all, and went back for a movie with Phil then we went to Noodle House for dinner....well, i do really enjoy the time when I'm with him, we have a lot to talk to, and we know each other so well, i don't need to hide anything in front of him, i can totally be my real self which I really enjoy....

Then, well....hmmmmm had a special night...我想会成为我的另一个秘密吧....

Sometimes, i don't even know what I was thinking, I can't understand myself even. I know I should just live the moment, try to enjoy myself and life here, but sometimes, I just can't stop myself from thinking too much...The thing that I like Phil is that he is being totally honest to me, and he always eager to know everything about me... I enjoyed talking with him a lot..but i don't know if i like him the way that i like J...I do have a low EQ.... 

Then...hmm didn't do anything on Saturday, totally chill...

Then today, He just came over just now and to give me this cake...im happy to see him and we chatted for a bit, i don't feel like myself still liking him that much probably because i know that he is not the best one for me, but i do admit that i still like him. But well, at least at this point, don't think its the best time to let him know...lets just see what happens.....

Going to Carrie's place for dinner :) 

Need to finish my assignment as well haha being so lazy lol

LIVING THE MOMENT AND ENJOY THE LIFE 

Pre-Birthday Surprise!!!❤️

22th, April 2015

Such good weather these days, makes me feel so happy when I go out.

Had dinner with Alfren, Anna and Akilah, thought it was just a small gathering dinner since Anna came back to Leeds from Vietnam...

And after the dinner, they suddenly brought the birthday cake to me and played the birthday song....i cried right away....so touched......THATS JUST SO SWEET

They secretly planned all this to try to surprise me and they did!!! Its totally a surprise!!! I wasn't expecting anything for my birthday, its just a regular day for me! I don't really celebrate my birthday since i used to have exams on my birthday back in Canada, and we usually just went out for dinner with Peipei and she always surprises me....This year, even not my birthday yet, but already feel so touched...such a special memory....xx

I can't picture the day when I have to leave UK, not because this country, but the people that I have met here, totally means a lot to me....it has been such a special and wonderful year in my life!

I feel so loved and lucky to have all my friends in my life, they just mean a lot to me!!! I love them more than anything!!!xxx

 

 

 

 

MY LIFE IS TOTALLY MESSED UP

21th, April 2015

最近几天发生了很多事情，突然觉得自己撑不住了。。。

周五晚上他过来我这里，我煮了粥给他吃因为他生病了，之后我们一起看了电影，再之后他一直问我他是不是要走了，我没有说话，我不知道怎么回答，我知道他不会对我做什么，即使他就躺在我身边，我也觉得很安全，我知道理智来说，我不应该要他留下，可是感性来讲，我很想和他待在一起，可能只是静静的躺在一起，什么都不说，后来他走了，让我睡觉，走之前我们拥抱，那个拥抱感觉好漫长。我让他到家之后发信息给我，他说想让我睡觉，我坚持要让他发信息给我。他到家发信息给我，我问他这样是不是太多了，他说他没有期待任何事情，只是有点累了，我相信他不会对我做任何事情，我问他是不是只是把我当朋友，他说一个很好，很特别的朋友，他说很喜欢我，可是我觉得只是当朋友的那种喜欢吧，我没有多问，第二天早上他发信息给我，也只是闲聊了一会。。。

然后在学校见了P, 他知道我和他的所有事情，本来计划学习，结果因为阳光很好，我们在学校里面的草地上坐了一下午，很享受美好的天气。之后晚上我们一起吃了饭，因为周五晚上没有怎么睡觉，打算周六的时候早点休息，第二天约好了一起早起学习，可是不知道为什么，晚上睡不着，就打电话给p，没想到一聊就聊了很久，聊了很多很多。。。

第二天，周日，p很早起来，来找我，把我从床上叫起来，我们一起吃了简单的早饭，然后去图书馆，悲剧的是因为是周日，所以图书馆到10点才开门。。。下午我们去了他家的party，然后回到图书馆学习，偶然我发现了他留在我手机note里面的东西, 意思就是他喜欢我，我假装没有看到，希望我们可以永远都这样做朋友，晚上去他家吃饭，他把手机里面留的note删掉，我以为我们可以一直这样做朋友，可是后来他又重新写上去，让我看，我不知道要怎样做，不想失去这样一个朋友，而且他有女朋友，他知道我很喜欢另一个男生，突然，他试图想要吻我，我躲开了，所有的事情都变的好奇怪。

之后我们回到学校，在外面坐了一下，聊了很多，然后我回家了

回家的路上，我觉得心里好乱，我可以喜欢一个人，可是如果再有另一个人喜欢我，我觉得too much that i cant handle，突然很想见他，告诉他我喜欢他，然后他拒绝我，至少这样我会觉得轻松一点。

回到房间发信息给他，他说他在看电影，之后还有一些工作要做，可能没有时间见面，我说算了没有关系，改天再说吧，他说要打给我，我们聊了一会，他说如果我不喜欢那个男生，就保持一定距离，一段时间后看还能不能做回朋友，我说我喜欢另一个人，他没有问是谁，我觉得他应该足够聪明猜到是谁，可是他不问，应该是不想让我说明白吧。

可是我喜欢所有的事情都清楚一点，不喜欢这样暧昧不明的关系，自己总是胡思乱想很多。后来我给朋友打了电话，聊了很多，我决定要告诉他我喜欢他，我想当面告诉他，其实并不是怕被拒绝或是怎样，可能我倒希望他说只是把我当朋友，这样我会轻松很多。

其实理智的想，他没有那么好，不知道他把我当什么，或许只是普通朋友，对我连最基本的信任都没有。我不知道，或许我对他来说什么都不是，我所有的朋友都说不要让我再理他，说他很奇怪，我甚至都不知道自己为什么喜欢他，是不是喜欢一个人真的不需要理由，有的时候我甚至都不清楚自己是不是喜欢他。

因为p 的事情，我好想告诉他我的感觉，只是想结束这种不明不白的状态，我只是想要一个明确的答案，无论是什么，我们都可以还做朋友

好啦！用中文写很奇怪，很多东西不知道有没有表达清楚，但是我觉得中文可能会更少人看懂吧！

先上课啦！加油！要每天都开开心心的！

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING

18th, April 2015

Seems like there is a lot to update for these couple days....

The day before yesterday, I went for a movie with one guy, but It was horrible...sigh...he just like a little kid to me...

And was studying almost the entire day at the lib with Phil, well, not the entire day since we had a two hour lunch break, but its still much better than nothing....

Actually yesterday, me and Jason were planning to meet up in the afternoon, then he texted me and was like he got a cold, not feeling so well, i was like we can meet another day if you want, then he asked me if there is anything that we could do at my place, then I asked him to come over and i would make some congee for him....

Then Phil and I went to the bubble tea shop, after that, we went to the Chinese grocery store to get the preserved egg since I need those to make congee...but the store closed when we got there...:( so we tried the Thai one but they didn't have it, but luckily, on our way back, I saw the manager of the chinese grocery store was talking on the phone right at the door, so I was kinda begging him to sell the preserved egg to me.....

Then we went to the Morrison to get some other stuff and Phil was too nice to walk me back.

Then he came to my place, I made congee for him, and we were watching a movie after congee...

Ehhhh I suddenly don't feel like writing it....ill leave it for tmr then i guess :)

Quite tired now....going to sleep now I guess

SLOWLY GETTING BACK TO NORMAL

15th, April, 2015

The day before yesterday, went to lib in the afternoon then went to global cafe since need to meet up with Phil to sort something out, but had a good time there talking with this two guys from Malaysia, quite funny that they thought i was from Singapore due to my weird accent.....

Then went to Sally's place, she cooked noodles for me which is quite good, then we were just talking and so randomly, she was like lets go for karaoke, then i called mix, since its Monday, not the busy time, they offered us 16pounds for 2 hrs which is quite cheap already compare to usual....and we called the cab right away...its so crazy and random but was really fun...we were both like...what we are actually doing...do random!!

Then when we got there, i was talking to the previous owner for a little while, since he knows me, he asked this guy working there to join us, then............i was so childish and naive....since that guy was trying to ask me to drink......i didn't get drunk but i wasn't planning to drink at all...anyways.....

Yesterday got my big aunt, was feeling so weak the entire day....met up Phil in the afternoon for dim sum and we ordered regular dishes afterwards as well and also dessert...had such a big meal!!! So satisfied...Then we played the pool and table tennis for a little while, we both are so bad at it tho...lol

Then today......went to lib and was planning to study with Phil...then ended up with having so many breaks....he was keep distracting me!!! Anyways....get some of my work done which is not that bad....good enough for START

Then we went to this social, talking to random ppl, i was little bit tired to talk to ppl tho, but was nice to get to know some new friends...and yeah i do need more socials to keep myself busy.....

Nothing too much to update, and i just figured out that I totally misunderstood something....which makes me even feel a little bit better.............

haha anyways....im just gonna try to enjoy my life, try to enjoy my rest of time here in UK and trying to be myself....

BE HAPPY  :)

KEEP MOVING ON I GUESS

13th, April, 2014

Yesterday......replied him in the morning, but didn't get replied right away until he finish his violin class...hehe he doesn't really care about me....

不知道要怎样说，昨天给笑打了电话，晚上又和sugar聊了一下，所有人都劝我不要再跟他联系，说他很奇怪。。理智的想，确实觉得很多事情他都在有刻意地回避，没有正面回答过我。。我觉得就算普通朋友之间，相处最重要的就是坦诚。。这样下去，受伤更多的只能是自己，所以，就stop在这里吧。。。

心情还是没有那么好，昨天跟sugar和hezy去逛街，可是做什么事情都感觉心不在焉的，不知道在想什么也，她们也很明显的感觉到我心情不好，呵呵，好想每天都开开心心的，没心没肺，这就是为什么我总是说，真的很害怕自己动了感情，因为真的很难走出来。

晚上去hezy家吃饭，sugar做的饭很好吃，之后hezy学画画，sugar教我修眉毛，还做了头发给我

 hezy did make up for
me....two different
make up for two eyes

 sugar said this is so
gong lui...hehe

 best makeup artist
ever!!!





chocolate and vanilla
cheesecake..
little bit better than
the ones that i made

Well, i think everything gonna be fine, just takes time... try to be myself, be happy and enjoy my rest of time here in UK..someone is not worthy it for me to care that much, to pain me that much....but no matter what is happening in my life, i should try to enjoy it, try to enjoy the moment, and learn from every single experience!! BE HAPPY!!!! :) 

SMILE :) TO MY SELF!!

HUG :) TO MYSELF!!

ADD OIL!!!